I read a “25 Things…” post by my sister Kelli, and something she said stuck with me, “I don't like to be busy and don't understand people that do.” Well, I’m one of those people who likes to stay busy. I’m not totally sure why. It doesn’t really make sense to me that I have no problem handling 25 things at once, but if you dwindle that down to 1 thing, I don’t know what to do with myself. I started thinking about why I am that way, and at one point, I was reminded (I think by God) of the story of Martha and Mary. As a worshiper (and someone who lives for it!) I know this story like the back of my hand. I’ve “preached” it many times, even from the platform.
Luke 10:38-40 Now it happened as they went that He entered a certain village; and a certain woman name Martha welcomed Him into her house. And she had a sister called Mary, who also sat at Jesus’ feet and heard His word. But Martha was distracted with much serving, and she approached Him and said, ‘Lord, do You not care that my sister has left me to serve alone? Therefore tell her to help me.’
As I thought about that story, I heard God say, “You’re a Martha.” What?! Me?! Wow! That hurt! “But, God,” I pleaded, “I love to worship You! My whole life is about worshiping You!” God reminded me of a few of the lines from some of the songs I’ve written: I will lift up…, We will go…, I will follow… Sadly, I realized right away that my worship tends to be more about me and what I will do for God.
I think that this “busy-syndrome” that I suffer from bothers my husband. I picked up a hobby a few years ago: Knitting. I loved the idea because I have a hard time sitting still when I see SO many things that still need to be done. Knitting allows me to sit still while still being productive. It keeps my mind from the millions of other things that tempt me to get up from my comfortable couch. So, I’m able to sit and watch a show with my husband without interrupting it with various chores. My husband hates this, and I’ve never been able to figure out why, until the epiphany that was brought on by my sister’s innocent Facebook post. Now, I think I understand. I not only distract myself from my chores, but also from him. I’ve never seen myself as a “distracted” person until now. Jesus told Martha in Luke 10:41 ‘Martha, Martha, you are worried and trouble about many things, but one thing is needed, and Mary has chosen that good part, which will not be taken away from her.’ Although I know that Martha was trying to honor Jesus with her service and instead was distracted from Jesus, I never put myself into that category. I wonder how many times I “knit” in my relationship with God. How can I become a Mary?
Kelli is like Mary. She can sit and give you complete attention regardless of things that need to be done. In the past, I have seen this as a kind of fault. I thought that she shouldn’t let people distract her from her “duties”. Now I realize that this is a gift that Kelli has! It’s the opposite of what I thought: She doesn’t let her “duties” distract her from the people! If Kelli loves you, you know it. You can’t escape from it and she shows it well. She lavishes her attention on you: She is extravagant with her love and spends it generously and excessively! She is able to sit still with you amidst the storm of distraction. And I know that it is the same in her walk with the Lord. A few excerpts from some of her songs: Love is flowing like a spring from deep inside of this chest. I love the way You love me. I’m so desperate for Your love. Although we love the same God, and although we both have a heart after God, our relationships are obviously very different.
In my marriage to Andy, I have let my “duties” for him distract me from him far too many times, and I think that the same is true in my walk with the Lord. Too many times I have spent my time with God telling Him all the great things I will do for Him instead of sitting with Him, spending time with Him, lavishing my attention on HIM. Don’t get me wrong. I believe that service for/to God is extremely important and necessary. But, I understand now that it should flow out of a “Mary” relationship with Him. (Why, oh why, did it take me so long to realize this simple and obvious truth??) To become a Mary, my worship in His presence should be less “I will…” and more “You are…” I’m sure that my dad is saying, “How many times have I told you that?!” I guess I had to “catch” this one, Dad. So, the next time you meet with God, be sure to put away your “knitting needles”, drop the “I wills”, and LAVISH your attention on God!